It is official; the letter was dropped in the mail a few days ago to inform our agency we will be closing our adoption file with them once again. Again there are a number of reasons why, but the fact of the matter is international adoption is an incredibly expensive endeavor and because of unforeseen circumstances we are not able to afford it at this time.
Randy asked if I wanted to do the classes for the US foster-to-adopt program. I’ll do the classes if he wants to, but right now I feel completely and utterly defeated. The last thing I feel like doing right now is starting another process. I want to just live life a little enjoy each other’s company which for the passed 3 years has revolved around the discussion of adopting, children, and preparation for a child in our home.
From here on out I hope to recollect my thoughts and spend some time enjoying the things I do have (a husband, a farm, pets, and a home that could use a little tlc). I would also like to complete some of the things we have been putting off and prepare a schedule for the year. A schedule an impending adoption did not allow for. Lastly, I just want to regain the energy it took to be in the process of an adoption…to feel strong and healthy again physically and mentally.
I know this is a let down to not only us, but to our friends and family who have supported us along the way. Know we are very sorry this didn’t work out also. A very small handful of friends are the only ones who know about our adoption process coming to an end and fortunately we didn’t tell my parents so nothing will have to be done there which is a relief.
We will undoubtedly be asked about our adoption and have to answer questions about why it didn’t work out. This is all part of it, and we are ready to face the music. It’s such a hard process sometimes and such a financial burden for us middle-class folks. I hate it for the children. They are the ones who suffer the most through it all.